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Commencement Address

June 27, 2011

My graduation was last week and our commencement speaker spoke the immortal words “aim for the moon, because if you miss, you’ll end up in the stars.”

It struck me as inherently malleable, so I have strived to improve the metaphor.

“Aim for the moon, because if you miss it, you’ll end up in the stars… but the stars are millions of light years away, so you’ll end up nowhere.”

“Aim for the moon, because if you miss it, you’ll probably explode on re-entry, and who wants to live anyway.”

“Aim for the moon, because it is a giant, grey, lifeless rock that taunts me every night.”

“Aim for the moon because that is the only way to put an end to this werewolf menace.”

“Aim for the moon, because the 60’s were awesome.”

“Aim for the moon, otherwise the Chinamen are going to take it away from us.”

“Aim for the moon, by Crom.”

“Aim for the moon, we need the cheese.”

“Aim for the moon, gotta nuke something.”

“Aim for the moon, it’s that thing we can’t see because of the pollution.”

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